Category Archives: cologne

by | November 30, 2010 · 11:06 am

Creepy Encounters!

     Have you ever had one of those encounters with someone that leaves you completely freaked out? I have!

Sometimes, I just create creepy moments.
Cuz I CAN, that’s why!

Creepy Encounter #1:
Black Friday, 4am. Guy walks into store with a bunch of friends, all eyes bloodshot to high heaven. Guy smiles at me, I smile back so as to not seem like I’m enraged that I’m working at 4am. Guy sidles (yes, sidles) over to me, still smiling in a creeper-fashion.
Guy: (Reaching out his hand) Hi, I’m Markus.
Me: (Shaking his hand, avoiding the temptation to crush his fingers) Hi, I’m Becki.
Markus: Do you have a boyfriend, Becki?
Me: Yes.
Markus: Can I have your number anyway?
Me: No. Thanks, though! (See how I refrained from complete evility? No, evility is not a word. Yes, I’m still using it in my grammarific blog.)

Creepy Encounter #2:
Since we’re on the subject of weird guys, here’s another lovely anecdote.
Guy: (After making really awkward small talk as I helped him select cologne.) So… do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Yes.
Guy: That’s okay, I can share.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME????


Creepy Encounter #3:
A new coworker walks over to me as I stand at my counter.
Coworker: I Googled you.
Coworker walks away. I suppress a shiver of fear.

Creepy Encounter #4:
I tend to speed-walk through the mall. No reason except that once you’ve worked in a mall, you don’t want to spend any more time than necessary passing by all of the stores. Anyway, back to the encounter.
(I walk by the jewelry store on my way to gorge myself on See’s.)
Jewelry man: (Literally sprinting after me, and with a French accent) Why? Why is you walks so fast?
Me: Um, I’m in a hurry?
Jewelry man: (Chuckling as he walks to back to his store) Oh!! Zis is why you walks fast. I understand now.
(This might be more of an awkward encounter, rather than creepy, but I decided to cover all my bases.)

Creepy Encounter #5:
Girl walks up to Windsor window and begins inexplicably chuckling to herself.
Girl takes camera out of her purse and takes a picture of the store window.
Girl gets home and posts picture to her blog.

My friend Jazzlyn is a model extraordinaire! I love stumbling across her ads. They’re EVERYWHERE!!!
And yes, in case you were wondering, creepy encounter #5 was me.
Creepy Encounter #6:
My lovely mom took me out to lunch at Lazy Dog today. The salad dressing had been stepped in by a dog. A very, Lazy Dog. (Cue the painful groans.)
Ugh, my joke is so bromidic even I’M disgusted with myself.
Moving on. We split an appetizer of spicy edamame.
I had a Mediterranean pizzetti. De-luscious!
Time for some beer tasting? OKAY! Dogfish Head’s limited edition Pangaea, brewed with crystalized ginger. I couldn’t taste any ginger, but I still appreciated the thought. 
I don’t think I’ve ever had a complaint when it comes to Dogfish Head, especially now that they have their show Brew Masters! (Thanks for letting me know about that, Heather!)
     Thank you for putting up with my random post and horrible grammar and words that aren’t real words. 
You’re awesome.

Disclaimer: No animals, living or stuffed, were harmed in the writing of this blog.

3 Comments

Filed under Black Friday, boyfriend, Brew Masters, bromidic, cologne, creepy encounters, Cyber Monday, Discovery channel, Dogfish Head, edamame, Google, Jazzlyn, Lazy Dog Cafe, mall, Pangaea, pizzetti, Windsor

by | November 23, 2010 · 11:55 am

How to Piss Me Off

     I had a good day today, so I decided to make some lists of things that irritate me – this makes sense, no?

Really irritating – People who stand still on the escalator going down. (Seriously? SERIOUSLY?)
Somewhat irritating – People who stand still on the escalator as it escalates. (Sometimes excusable…)
Okay by me – People who skip up or down the escalator. Bonus points for flapping their hands and singing, “tra-la-la-la-la”. (I may have done this today…)

Really irritating – Guys who call me, “little girl”. (I will flip out and bitch you out. Just to warn you.)
Somewhat irritating – Guys who call me, “sweetie”, “pumpkin”, “cupcake” (or any baked good for that matter).
Okay by me – Guys who feel no need to give me a nickname and act like a normal, cool dude.

Biscuit – another baked good. I call my dog, “Biscuit.” Therefore, you may not call me “Biscuit.”

Really irritating – Couples who call each other “baby.”
Somewhat irritating – Couples who call each other “honey.”
Okay by me – Couples who call each other by their actual names.

Really irritating – Books whose characters know everything instantly just to make the storyline progress more quickly.
Somewhat irritating – Books whose characters learn things as the storyline progresses too quickly.
Okay by me – Good books with good characters and normally-paced storylines. Need I say more?

Really irritating – Crying babies or whiny toddlers.
Somewhat irritating – Children in general.
Okay by me – The twins who play Hope on the FOX show, “Raising Hope.”

Really irritating – All reality television shows.
Somewhat irritating – Shows that are intense and fun to watch (The Event), but have HORRIBLE actors that have nothing redeeming about them except for their looks (*cough* Sarah Roemer *cough*).
Okay by me – Amazing shows like Raising Hope, and Outsourced! ADD THOSE TO YOUR DVR NOW!!!

Really irritating – The fact that Blogger won’t let me copy and paste links.
Somewhat irritating – The fact that Blogger won’t let me embed videos onto my blog so you can enjoy them. (This also goes up with really irritating, but some balance was needed…)
Okay by me – Anyone who can tell me how to fix this!
I’m irritated. Wine might help…

Really irritating – Guys or girls who wear too much cologne/perfume. What are you trying to cover up??
Somewhat irritating – Guys or girls who don’t wear enough cologne/perfume. Why won’t you cover up??
Okay by me – Guys or girls who have good hygiene and good noses to know when they need a little something-something. 

Really irritating – Busy, bustling cities.
Somewhat irritating – Houses with acreage.
Okay by me – Abandoned houses, ghost towns, and creepy buildings. Life After People is my guilty pleasure!

Really irritating – Chicks/dudes who spend all of their blogspace whining about things they find irritating.
Somewhat irritating – Chicks/dudes who spend all of their blogspace talking about pointless things.
Okay by me – Chicks/dudes who spend all of the blogspace whining about pointless, irritating things whilst including pictures.
Sweet potato pancakes topped with cranberry-apple butter in front of a Christmas tree that has been put up ridiculously early.
My picture quota is now fulfilled.
This post took me three hours to write/find pictures/edit. 
I’m going to bed now.

6 Comments

Filed under biscuits, cologne, cupcakes, escalators, Life After People, little girl, Outsourced, perfume, Raising Hope, sweet potato pancakes, sweetie, The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest, Titanic